Habits Course Step Five
Are you sure you are ready and have enough time right now for this step? If not, just click the button below to go back to the safety and comfort of the last step or click here for more help.
If you are sure that you want to move on because you feel 100% confident that you have learned and mastered the last step, then welcome and read on!
Now that you know how to call out your loops and give them a name, you know how to take the wind out of their sails and reduce their power. They have less power and you have more, so with this shift, you can change them much more easily. This step teaches you how to get on the fast track for changing your loops and forming new loops with making sure you are in the right "state."
This thing we call "state" is your mood, emotions, and attitude. When you are in the right state, your emotions are under your control and your PFC is able to train your toddler faster and more easily. This is why your state is such a big part of your loops. Toddlers are emotional, so when your emotions are in control, your toddler and all of his/her automatic loops probably will be too.
When your emotions are under control, your PFC (aka the parent) is in control and that toddler can be guided and trained. When your conscious brain - especially the PFC - is running the show, logic and reason reign, giving you all the willpower and control you need. When the subconscious (the toddler) is in control, emotions reign and the automatic habit loops are running the show.
So the bottom line is, a good, logical state means the parent is in charge and good things happen. A bad, emotional state means the toddler is in charge and bad things happen.
The state you are in at any given moment can be changed or controlled primarily by three main factors: Focus, physiology, and belief. If you switch your focus, and/or change your physiology, and/or affirm your belief, then you can change your state. You can change your state with just one of these three things, but the more you can use the better, of course.
Your "focus" is the thing you are concentrating on. Here's an example: Jack just got dumped by his Jill. He can't stop thinking about it because his brain is wired to ruminate over things (as is everyone else). He thinks about what he could have done differently, all the ways he blew it, and how much he misses Jill. He also occasionally tries to come up with ways he is now better off though, by trying to think about her faults and what he won't miss, trying to make himself feel better by focusing on the things she did that bugged him.
None of that makes him feel much better though because he is focusing on his faults and her faults. It's all negative. While these negative thoughts are going through his mind, they are releasing chemicals that make him feel worse, creating a downward spiral.
His inner toddler knows from past experience that donuts always make him feel better (at least in the short term), so he swings by the donut shop. The trigger was the crummy state he was in. The habit (or routine), is eating the donuts. As he eats his donuts, he does feel better in the short term, due to the comfort memories of this past experience and due to the temporary neurochemical "hit" he is getting from the sugar. This is the reward. 30 minutes later though, his brain chemicals, blood sugar, and mood are even lower than before he ate the donuts, so the cycle continues and now he wants more donuts or another type of sugar or starch.
His posture (physiology) is a sunken chest, downcast head, and a sad face.
His thoughts and words (belief) are along the lines of his loss, that he sucks, and he might never find someone as great as Jill.
If Jack only knew how to change his state...
This could be any event besides a breakup. Maybe Jack had a confrontation with his boss, the dog ran away, his inner toddler started his "no" phase...
The quick, easy technique below will give you a fast way to change your state to get you out of pathways you want to atrophy and get you into the mode necessary to switch tracks and make new pathways dominant. It will also teach you a quick way to bust cravings and get you out of bad situations when you might have felt trapped in the past. The video explains it in more detail after the technique is taught, so keep watching through the end to fully understand it.
It will help you change your focus (mindful and intentional thoughts), your physiology (tapping on your face), and your belief (the words you use).
The good news is this is a neurology method that actually works even if you doubt it or flat out don't believe it will help!
The video explains why this works in more detail after the technique is taught, so keep watching through the end to fully understand it.
It's important to practice EFT at least once a day for an emotion, state or craving (or both) to hone the skill. You will get better at it and the effectiveness will increase as you master it, so take that time every day! Now, while it's new to you, it might take 5 minutes or so, but pretty soon that will turn into 3 minutes, then 1 minute and so on, until you are doing it in the car while waiting at a stoplight, like me!