On January 1st, 2024, Santa pondered his New Year’s resolution. He had made over 1700 resolutions since he served as a Christian bishop in the 4th century. Back then he became well known for his generosity, particularly for giving away his wealth to help the poor and secret gifts to children.
He was so generous, in fact, as he reached his golden years, he was granted immortality, but on one condition: that he continue his generosity on a much larger scale – worldwide, in fact. To accomplish this feat, he was also given special abilities in the realm of space and time.
Being jolly with a big belly (thanks to all the free cookies and sweets left for him by children for 1700 years) had certainly been fun and he had no regrets. Being immortal and frozen in time at the age of 73, he hadn’t aged a single day since 343 AD, so the threat of heart disease, diabetes, or any other obesity-related health issue wasn’t a factor, nor would it ever be, no matter what he ate or did for exercise.
Still, he wondered, after nearly 17 centuries of obesity, how his quality of life might be different if he started exercising and eating healthier foods. He didn’t know where to start at first, but he had been following certain health and fitness influencers on X (formerly known as Twitter).
When Elon Musk bought Twitter to bring free speech back, Santa became an instant fan and signed up to check it out. Then when Elon changed the name to X, he became even more enthusiastic, primarily for the reason “X” comes from the Greek letter Chi (Χ), which is the first letter of the Greek word Χριστός (Christos), meaning “Christ.”
This practice of using “X” as an abbreviation for Christ dates back to the 4th century when he was still a mortal. He remembers it well, holding special memories of that event in his heart.
Then, when “Xmas” began appearing in writings as a form of abbreviation for “Christmas” around the 16th century, he became even more jolly, as his fond memories of the initial event and current writings seemed to collide in a special way.
These three main reasons: Free speech; X being the symbol for Christ; and the common use of Xmas all contributed to Santa’s interest in X as the best platform to research his new health and fitness goals.
Since his brain’s reticular activating system was set to notice the letter X now, he couldn’t help being drawn to the @xgym on X, and followed PJ’s posts on health, fitness, nutrition, and more. He was fascinated by how different X Gym was from all the other gyms and methods, and how much time could be saved, not to mention the unsurpassed safety and effectiveness.
Since Santa isn’t bound by space and time, he could certainly choose the old-school, time-consuming traditional exercise methods, but he remembers when they were invented back in 1891. He also remembers when PJ invented the X Gym methods exactly 100 years later in 1991, and how they have continued to evolve and improve, based on new research as it comes out, while traditional training hasn’t changed at all since its inception.
Santa also noticed the amazing results of X Gym, namely Queg (formerly known as Greg, but PJ had to give him a new name because he changed so much). Since Queg gained so much muscle and lost so much fat, he was inspired to get similar results. Santa immediately signed up for the X Gym Xercise App and started eating from X Gym’s recipe site, hardbodcafe.com.
In just eight short months, Santa went from jolly belly to jacked and ripped as you can see in his after picture above. The reason he has no sleeves is because when he flexed his arms they just popped off, kind of like when the Hulk gets angry.
Santa isn’t vain at all, so he doesn’t much care that he looks so much better, but does appreciate how much easier it is to go up and down chimneys (much less magic is required). He also enjoys his higher energy level which, along with his increased physical speed, estimates he will be done delivering presents about 44% faster, giving him tons more time to check that list thrice instead of twice, to make sure no one got left out!
He also let us know that the X Gym App allowed him to do single 3-minute exercises every time he craved an “xercise snack,” which he swapped for sugary snacks, thanks to the custom insights learned from PJ’s Brain Type Test as a strategy to cut down on those sweets while building muscle instead. He hasn’t completely lost his sweet tooth though, and loves all the desserts, cookies, and chocolate recipes on hardbodcafe.com!
If you would like to look, feel, and move like Santa does now, consider looking into the X Gym App, the Brain Type Test, and the hardbodcafe for your magical results!
