I was recently talking to my hilarious nephew Ryan about how modern dietitians think they are giving good advice by telling people to eat “healthy” whole grains. They are obviously just repeating the misinformation they have been taught in school and certainly haven’t done any independent research on their own, because if they had, they would know know that whole grains are all extremely fattening, no matter how “healthy” they might be labeled.

In fact, the “science” that “indicated” that “healthy” whole grains assisted with weight loss, was in fact, only one study that showed “healthy” whole grain breads were merely “less fattening” than breads made from the more refined white flour. This study showed that subjects gained 9 pounds from eating bread made from white flour, while subjects who ate “healthy” whole grains, gained only 8 pounds.

Wow. Really?

Yep, this is the study that started the whole “healthy” grain myth.

And your local media is still perpetuating it.

And your local brain-washed dietician is probably perpetuating it too.

My nephew Ryan doesn’t eat grains, because he knows better. If he did them though – and knew this information – and was making a choice between eating “healthy” whole grain bread and bread made from white flour, the choice really boils down to (as he put it), “Well, do I want “B” cup man-boobs or “C” cup man-boobs?”

I laughed so hard, I got an ab cramp.

So what’s the truth? What’s the best advice? Here is is. There’s only one choice: Cut out all grains. Period. There is no such thing as a “healthy” grain, whole or not.

Humans have NO BUSINESS eating ANY modern grains. Modern grains simply aren’t fit for human consumption – especially wheat. Modern grains have been bred and altered over the last 70 years (and especially in the last 20 years) to be sweeter and to have the highest possible effect on the opiate centers in the brain. This maximizes their addictive nature, so the manufacturers end up selling more product and gaining more repeat customers (just like drug dealers). It also renders these grains mostly indigestible and extremely fattening. In fact, our modern bread – “healthy” or not – is even more fattening than straight sugar!

What about European bread or bread from other countries? Nope. That’s bad too. Some rare forms aren’t as bad as the bread we make here in America, but even the “best” breads will still give you “A” cup man-boobs at best.

What about ancient wheat from 2000 years ago? Well, that was probably OK, actually. The problem is that we have bred that wheat completely out of existence. That wheat is now extinct on our planet. It doesn’t exist anywhere anymore. It’s gone and it’s never coming back. And the rest of the grains have followed suit, thanks to our insatiable craving for foods that alter our brain chemistry (the biggest business growth sector in the food industry over the last 50 years), changing the state we are in (temporarily), just like drugs such as cocaine.

Yep, we are drug addicts, hooked on modern grains because of their enhanced effect on the the opiate receptors in our brains.

And the grain manufacturers know it. And they are laughing all the way to the bank.

If you are a grain lover but don’t believe this, try going cold turkey off grains. 93% of the people who try, can’t even make it 3 weeks.

That’s a worse success rate than people who go cold turkey off cocaine.